Monday, July 8, 2013

Unrewarding hop seed planting


Today I planted some darling seedy peeds of the hop assortment!

This large envelope labelled Exotic Garden arrived in the mail this afternoon from a scowling delivery lady who looked at me and my shrieks of joy as if I had ordered a 'grow your own dildo' set. Which I hadn't, but if I had, it wasn't her business to be jealous about it.

I immediately ripped open the packed with my teeth (the scissors being inconveniently located in the kitchen), discarded the thank you note and proceeded to sniff the seed pouches. No hop aroma as of yet, my dear friends, but that should change- with time. I transplanted the bulbs in my mini green house to a less comfortable lodging and gingerly laid two seeds per pot in rest. Cover with more soil, properly aerated, sprinkle with water and wait. I left two seeds in the packages, for safe keeping. If the apocalypse hits, you know with zombies, power outages, riots and the such then seeds will be a form of currency (or so my brother tells me, survivalist that he is). Hop seeds will likely buy me a whole cow or motorcycle, I reckon, so keeping a few in the original packaging is like, an investment of sorts. DSC01459

Waiting is not rewarding. Or rather, waiting might produce something fantastic eventually but it doesn't reward me right now. These are not jack and the bean stalk seeds, unfortunately (and a bit to my surprise/disappointment).

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="438"]DSC01458 Mr. Red Boots will have none of these dirty hand activities pushed on him, today, no sir.[/caption]

I want hop vines falling all over my outdoor area, me having to beat them back with a stick and apologize to the neighborhood for their fiendishly weedy smells and fertile sporing on open garden plots. Hops don't spore, they seed, I know but I invision them misting around the house like a protective aura of green goodness. Hop seeds through the air, into Mrs. Really old dog lady's garden patch across the street. Me watching her unknowingly mother a hop plant through to the next season. Bwahhaaahaa.

This land will be infected as of yet, my dear friends, Nitch is here and times are a changin'!

All be it, slowly.


1 comment:

  1. […] Unrewarding as planting real plants are, my dear friends as you know from my disappointing plant post of past, I’ve substituted reality with the delight of cartoon […]