Our silly billy Canada cousins (as it turns out) have this rough rumble battle going on between us and them, but most Americans are oblivous to Canada all together. We don't know too much about the norther cold lands and don't see them as someone to battle with. Americans are too busy pissing off countries over the ocean to notice that we have a raggle tag bunch above us who want to play footsie.
That being said, hold the phone:
IS CANADIAN BEER STRONGER THAN AMERICAN BEER? (that just doesn't seem right...)
Mr.Spiess over that Fermentarium has multiple posts on the topic, satisfying my shaking head and turning it into a nod. Aw yes, we win. Again. Not much of surprise, (insert chest puffing and pompous grin).
Think global, drink local
Traveling has made me more of a patriot then I assumed I could be. Double standards like: I can make fun of my country, but you can't followed by, 'yeah, well okay dude, like, I'll agree about the President bit, but leave Busweiser outta this.' When our sweet and sour name calling gets too deep I pull out my finishing move, 'listen, if American wanted to own Canada, we would. End of story. We took Alaska and left all the shitty blank stuff in the middle to the French.'
No real offense intended of course, because there are a million things that we (the American government) do without true use of our democratic rights. For every back country thing I can spit about the Canadians, they have a dozen or more things to toss back. It's imbarassing how little footing my country has to stand on, 'um, yeah but like, we have the Kardashians. Wait, is that point for your side or mine?'
[caption id="attachment_1230" align="alignright" width="640"] Please do not define America by our Television[/caption]
The conversation would then turn from Canada vs America to both of us versus Australia and the rest of the world. Most people outside Northern America can't tell the difference between the American and Canandian accent anyway.
New acquaintance: "So.. are you Canadian?"
Me: "Nope, American."
New acquaintance: "Oh! I'm so sorry, I can't tell the difference between the accept. I'm really sorry."
Me: "Sorry about what?"
New acquaintance: "Most Canadians get upset if I guess that they are American. Americans don't mind being called Canadian?"
We don't mind being called Canadian, as we consider Canada a cousin, long distance and far off with some diseased cancerous areas filled with French people. American beer, Canadian beer, Mexican beer- when we drop all the ethnic jokes, there is one thing we all share, a love of being drunk.
But soon, Canada, American and Mexico we will all be as one: The Amero!