Friday, February 28, 2014

Empty bottle addiction- vous n'êtes pas seuls

Empty bottle's line the wall of my apartment.

I know someday I will find someone who loves me and they will tell me that it's unhealthy and unreasonable. The empties MUST GO.

Or must they?

Up-cycling is the hallmark of a true crafty beer drinker. Can't part with your pretty beer bottles? Turn them into lamps!


No DIY required


Thank you SUCK UK for another thing I never knew I needed.


Check out blogue de biéres's French chat up for the video.

Anyone else have way of keeping loved ones from throwing away your empty bottles?


Thursday, February 27, 2014

Love note to H

God damn you are cold tonight!

Better that way, I guess, seeing as how I don't really like you anyway. You fill my time and, to be completely honest, you upset my stomach. I know you are killing me... but I don't have time to find a replacement. I have facebook, I know there are better options available, but, come on... you like me because I'm cheap.


Honestly though. Rare fucking form tonight, aren't we, sweetheart. My friend said you were a mess when he went to pick you up. Already a wreck. Breaking shit all over the floor because you're unstable. Get your shit together.

Maybe that's why he told you to stay in the other room. Cool off a bit.

So... if you could refrain from foaming over with ice, and ruining my friend's cigarettes, I'd really fucking appreciate it. I'm paying attention to you for God's sake! In fact, I'm giving you so much of my time that I need more of you. Come here, you.

Let's both be honest. I know you don't care about me.

Fucking slut.

I'm not jealous.

If I had known you were coming, I wouldn't have came. Because seriously, how many of my friends have put their lips on you? I mean, don't you even care what people say about you? You! You love it. Don't act like you fucking don't! Look at how many outfits you wear! Could you be more available? And you fucking advertise it! I mean, fuck me, you blatantly post a billboard on your forehead that says, "look at me, I don't give a fuck about what's inside me or how I maintain myself, but I want you all to love me. BECAUSE I'M CHEAP!"

I can't believe I've spent the entire night with you talking about this. I should have sat in the corner and been un-social. Taken the high ground.

When it's all said and done, I'm full of you. I'm literally feed up... to... here with your bullshit. You made me do stupid things. I ate too much, I ended up going home with someone I didn't like, and all you did was make a mess all over my friend's house, stay up all night with that stoner guy -what's his name- and, remind me that there is a price to love.

You're scent lingers on my skin...

I need a shower.


From: Nitch

To: Heineken


Friday, February 21, 2014

Old Freddy Walker goes to a sketch group


Old Freddy Walker

One of Roger Protz’s “300 Beers To Try Before You Die," and one of my personal favorite beers, escorted me to an event that called for Moor Beer (Co.) and a touch of creative maneuvering.

Doing things is always more interesting than not doing things. Why always sit at home, talking to one's computer about beer when there is a whole world to explore. With a beer in your hand.

I was invited to just such a 'doing things' type of event by a friend of mine to whom married men flock. She is nearly unable to attract any other sort of male aside from those who have already devoted themselves to a woman and are steadfast on keeping them, and my friend, for as long as possible.

In an attempt to avoid becoming a 'cat lady,' my friend, The Other Woman, has become the most eventful person I know. Not only does she rock climb, snow shoe, organize hiking retreats, attend live and cinema theatre on a regular basis, but she also does horribly artistic things like: sketch group.
"Of course I will attend sketch group! Can I invite Old Freddy Walker?"

Sketch Group

A bunch of people to go a house, they all take their shoes off, slip on slippers, sharpen their pencils and sit on the floor. Some come with paint brushes from Japan and others ecologically hand make their paints from kitchen ingredients. Or rocks. Still yet you have people like myself and The Other Woman who attend more for the therapeutic aspects of being in a hushed room with a group of very concentrated people.

One member of the group will dawn a costume, helmet or interesting pose and everyone will take about 20 minutes to whip out their interpretation of the character. Although I was having a great time "drawing what is there and not what I see," as my art teacher used to always say, I kept making eyes with the Old Freddy Walker on the table.

The saucy ol' man wanted to be opened up, stripped down and focused on. Which made me nervous.



I had arrived late and missed the pre-sketching eat, drink and greet bit. After handing my beer to the hostess she whispered that she would put it in the refrigerator. My beer geek levels jump to anti-social levels as I followed her, mumbling that it was best at room temperature and that we could just put it on the table. I didn't want to seem like I was only there to drink my beer while everyone was mid illustration so I began to scribble on a spare piece of paper.

Il Faut Partager

Always a bit apprehensive about bringing a nice full bodied, bottle conditioned beer into unknown circles of highly visionary people, I felt relieved when, after allowing for a model change, The Other Women offered to get Old Freddy Walker on his feet. As we entered the kitchen area, I worried that I might have been more comfortable offering to be a nude model. What I saw on the pre-sketching dinner table wasn't craft aficionado promising. Big bottles of basic lager, chemical white wine and an array of mix-matched party foods.
"... we eat and drink, then get down to business."

My business is the eating and drinking.


If they didn't like it, they could always paint with it.

The Other Woman did the honors of taking one of Will's best imports and converting it into social lubricant.

MOORWebCyclopsOFWNot able to find what I would consider a proper glass, there was a candle holder or possibly an ashtray of some sort which was made of glass and served as a great little tumbler to receive my small sampling of the liquid gold. Or rather, liquid coal, as Old Freddy Walker has a distinctly midnight bound tone to it. No chance of seeing one's hand on the other side of the glass or avoiding the wafting aromas of chocolate, dry red fruits and heavy roasted bread.

Content to be drinking I answered a few beer questions and passed around the glasses.

The few who tasted Old Freddy Walker came out with some insightful perceptions including: christmas in your mouth, sweet cafe (or coffee) and not like Guinness at all.

Not at all like Guinness and yes, very complex but beautifully drinkable. Having begun the craft beer conversion of a few French artists, my work for the evening was complete.

I snapped the included pictures of the empty bottle lounging in the midst of a cultured art ocean, topped up the glass of The Other Woman and myself, and decided two things:

1: I should draw more because I suck at it

2: Next time I'll bring more beer



Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Thanking Brewers #1- Craig Allan

Brasserie Craig Allan

Father, brewer, scotsman and co-creator of the newly released UNSTOUT- a full body, highly hopped sessionable beer of the highest order, Craig deserves a big GROUP HUG for his pioneering in the French craft beer scene!


On February 13th Parisians (me included) were able to meet and bisous the man himself.

Thanks Brewer Soirée #1: Craig Allan

Craig allen trois 8 men

Trois 8 located just off metro line 2, station Ménilmontant is one of Paris's best beer geek locations, with great atmosphere, a revolving tap list and plenty of local love. Owners Phillipe (left) and Julien (right) invited Craig Allan (center) for a showcase evening and many group hugs.

[caption id="attachment_2438" align="aligncenter" width="960"]craig allen trois 8 mix Biérocratie owners Pierre and Jaclyn hugging Craig[/caption]

Craig Allan's three stable beers were on draft: Psychedelia, a blond beer starring the Moteuka hop variety from New Zealand, Agent Provocateur a Belgian style golden ale brewed with floral and citrus aromatic American hops and Cuvée d'Oscar a dark wheat beer named for his son Oscar. But the starlet of the night was without a doubt Craig's collaboration piece with friend and fellow brewer Craig. A different scotsman named Craig. Thats right!

2 Craigs UNSTOUT


Craig of Cromarty Brewing Co and Craig of Brasserie Craig Allan had the idea to produce a
"very low alcohol beer packed with flavour."

[caption id="attachment_2435" align="alignnone" width="960"]craig allen trois 8 Stout feeling, high hopped and any only 2% abv? Clement explains to me the impossible[/caption]

In order to achieve this masterful feat they packed loads of un-malted ingredients and an unusually high mash temperature to for a stout-like feel.  Mashing in at 72°C instead of the typical 65°C the Craigs were able to obtain an extract from the cereal which was deliberately less fermentable. As a result, unfermentable sugars and carbohydrates give UNSTOUT a fuller body.

Check out more of the team's brewing tricks here!

This big, little beer sports a classic smooth expresso and liquorice-like quality of a stout, huge herbal hop character from French hops, and pulls in a subtle 2% abv. May we call it a black IPA? May we call it sessionable? Lets just say that it has all the Craigs' personality and won't leave you drowning in pétrole.

[caption id="attachment_2439" align="alignnone" width="960"]Craig loves his Alsace hops Craig loves his Alsace hops[/caption]

Check out more photos of Thanks Brewer soirée #1 and keep up to date on when we'll be thanking more local brewers in Paris.




Friday, February 7, 2014

Wild Beer with modern art and people who wait in line for the library


Centre Pompidou

is one of Paris's must see museum destinations. I'd recommend a quick run through of the Louvre and then a full day at Pompidou. There is something for everyone in the modern art museum, with it's Frida Kahlo children's playground, underground cinema and extremely popular library. Expect to said at least a half an hour in an outdoor queue before gaining entry in the trendy information station. What better place to get wild than a place showcasing surrealistic art!

[caption id="attachment_2426" align="aligncenter" width="418"]chaussures-beaubourg It's art. Think about it.[/caption]

WILD BEER- Scarlet Fever


Beer drinkers gone wild! As me and The Ben take in eye-ball fulls of optical illusion art, science fiction inspired murals and, of course, dodge photo bombing a million tourist photos, we crack open one of the beers sent over from the UK by The Craft Beer Channel boys.

All available wall space is used to prop up dead eyed tourists and wide eyed art students from around the world.

The Ben who so generously sought out small craft beer in Belgium and toted it back to Paris for this video, also happens to be an art student. He calls Pompidou his second home, he has the annual pass and is a craft beer virgin.


We cracked open the Wild Beer in a remote area of the museum and tried to be discretely wild without drawing the attention of the guards.


Mostly we got disapproving looks from sketch artists and longing glances from passing tourists. Bet you wish you'd thought of having a great craft beer while soaking up the latest in modern culture! And, just to prove the wildness of our event, I spilt some of the beer on the floor (not intentional).


A: Due to the general walking nature of museums, our bottle was room temperature and foamy as fuck. The head is clearly over done and, although I'd love to say something wild came out of the bottle, mostly we got a hazy, fat bubbled ruby root beer.

S: Large caramel, toffee and brown sugar notes. Some hay, citrus and grass peaks around the corner but mostly the nose is about roasted malts and belgian spices.

T: From the nose I was guessing there might be some kind of Belgian yeast in here and the cumin comes out a bit which is hard to peg as the yeast or some kind of added spice from the malt list. Spice, caramel malts and a great citrus hop hit to reshuffle the mouth for the next blow.

M: Fairly bready with a solid medium body

O: Drink Wildly Different the bottle tells us. And we did. The beer itself is pretty wild, but also pretty well balanced.

I'd recommend Wild Beer's Scarlet Fever to anyone who is a malt monster. Hop heads might find it too sweet and porter pounders won't understand the lack of body. This wild thing beer is exactly what it says it is: different, roasted toffee and citrus hops.


Beer geeks don't just drink beer, we take home the bottle. Beer geek lady types (yours truly) need clean bottles so as to not ruin their vintage hand bags. Are you a beer geek?

The men's bathroom had an extremely artistic piece of modern art in it that we later discovered was a big caution line due to some large tourist having cracked a toilet bowl. Wild shit, not photographed.


Don't limit your beer drinking to tables and chairs, kick up a Wild Beer storm! But remember to stay behind the viewing lines or the security guards will follow you around for the rest of stay. Liability perhaps, but drunk we are not. Yet. 4.8% abv

Drink Wildly Different




Sunday, February 2, 2014

Drinking Yellow Snow on a rainy night

The weather here in Paris has been a bit lacking in warmth, if you get my drift. The rains come and go, but cold is the constant word: froid.
Oui, il fait le froid aujourd'hui, mais pas aussi mal que l'année dernière

Yes, it's cold today but not as bad as last year, they all say. Well, last year it snowed and I fucking loved it. If it is going to be cold, we might as well get some visual intrigue out of it and be allowed to kick up some snow balls. Instead, as usually happens when things get frosty outside, our insides start begging for heating elements. Since there is no snow to pee on, we are content to drink yellow snow:

ROGUE- Yellow Snow Ale 6.5% abv


Recently imported by BièrEVOLUTION Rogue's winter themed IPA closed my Friday evening of work and socializing.

I'd sipped on some Mamouche by CANTILLON, shared a bottle NØGNE Ø's Imperial Stout with a customer and had a half pint of Zwarts & Wit by DE MOLEN as my after work drink. But no one wants to stay at work too long after finishing, even if work has the best tap list in town.

From point A to point B

Screen Shot 2014-02-02 at 6.32.42 PM


Off from one of Paris's best craft beer bars, cross the nearly empty rain drenched streets to the other of Paris's best craft beer bars and gander at a tap list that is mostly stuff I'm not into. I'm sitting at the bar alone because my friends are the bartenders, they generally have to stand, and start thinking about Oregon. Winter in Oregon is much like whats outside Paris at the moment.

giphyNewport Oregon's Rogue Brewery embraces rain with more grace than I do. I stayed inside until the rain stopped. Gave me time to taste my beer. A few times.

A: Chill hazed, tawny orange with a thick soapy white head

S: Orange blossom, very faint grassy notes and maybe a bit of green apple. The malt tones a underlaying and more roasty than expected on the nose of an IPA.

T: An oily pine and citrus/grapefruit beginning balances to a toasted wheat and roasted cereals.

M: Surprisingly on the lighter side but very oily.

O: On the milder side of an IPA and not as well matched with the 70IBU being a little unnecessary since the sugar of the malts takes over the finish. A great go to brew, better than a lot of general IPA stuff and sessionable. I sessioned it. You can too!

I'd recommend a bit of Yellow Snow to anyone who likes those exotic orange and fruit hops but also enjoys a sweeter beer. More of a hop head thing than a beginner brew but great for late night palate cleansing and rainy day sipping.