Tuesday, August 13, 2013

What is wrong here? Dogfish Head's Ancient Ale Label

Dogfish Head's Ancient Ale label Kvasir Nordic Grog has been approved

...and the question has been risen- do your beer feminist senses get a little tingly?

[caption id="attachment_1506" align="aligncenter" width="575"]Dogfish-Head-Kvasir-Nordic-Grog-label Dogfish Head's Ancient Ale label Kvasir Nordic Grog[/caption]

Even if you aren't one of the bra wearing legion, there is something depressingly off about Dogfish Head's new Kvasir Nordic Grog label. Part cartoon, part yoga teacher, part... priestess? The label dialog tries to convince the drinker that the Wild Thornberry looking lady is a priestess of the upper class who likes to wear leather (form fitting leather judging by her busty top outline). And then there is a log and lots of red tones.

Label copy:

"She was a leather-clas priestess, a member of the upper class, and in the most northerly limits of Scandanavia, her tomb guarded a recipe for millennia. In her day, before grape wine arrived from the North East, alcoholic beverages were cocktails of sugar-rich ingredients like grain, fruit and honey. With help from biomolecular archaeologist Dr. Patrick McGovern and Swedish brewery Nynashamns Angbryggeri, we’ve unearthed the secrets of her tart, complex grog, and we’re sharing our modern interpretation with you."

-courtesy of Beerpulse

You've unlocked the secrets of her tart, complex grog so why does she have a big head and hoop earrings instead of.. ya know... a tart, complex grog appearance.

Lord knows that Nitch lovers her some beer and boobs, pumpclips that blatantly state, "hi, we are using sexuality to sell this product," and isn't bothered by a pretty (nude) body. But this recently approved label gives one the sense of being deceived.

Are you trying to target women by using reds, pinks and a tranquil smile?

How will (manly) men feel about purchasing this zen incense infused visual?

A freaking rainbow unicorn would have least been comical, don't ya think?

Dogfigh Head's Ancient Ale labels progress from adult to kindergarden.

First up (the second in the Dogfish Head's ancient ale series) is JIAHU. This label is pure class. Saucy and sexy, no big headed-ness on that beauty.


Then we had THEOBRAMA. A cute cartoon women... who is nude and dripping with chocolate. Yum


Most recently we have SAHTEA. This cartoon creation has a beer in one hand, tea pot in other and also has skill left over to balance a massive stag between her legs. Talented lady.


When not turning the beers into female cartoons, the labels tend to be simple:


 It appears the Dogfish Head's Ancient Ale series is slowly degenerating into immaturity. And not the more tasteful 'Beavis and Butthead' kind of immaturity either. Rather, Kvasir Nordic Grog label is directed toward women, teenagers or possibly a mix of both: 14 year old girls.

LABELS AREN'T EVERYTHING! It is the beer that counts, but when one is purchasing a higher end boutique beer with novelty on the mind, there is s desire for all things to be in order. Although completely disapproving of the nickelodeon label, let us try to experience the taste of the beer without reservation. Like a dog lover cooing over an old pug, it is the character that one falls in love with, not the face.

But if I buy one.. I'll insist on a bag when leaving the shop...

Dogfish-Head-Kvasir-Nordic-Grog-label-e1376310956324-200x200What IS IT about that label that irks one, so?!







  1. Christopher DanielsDecember 28, 2013 at 2:32 PM

    Just shut up and drink, won't you?
    And what's with Sah'tea balancing "a massive stag between her legs." She's riding the damn thing, obviously. Duh! The biggest problem with these labels is whatever baggage the viewer brings with him or her.
    Interesting beer (or gruit or mead or whatever) by the way, not great.
    My only problem with the label is that it is hard to read "Kvasir"- and my local store listed it as "Doghead Seasonal," which cause some price confusion.

  2. I find that the opposite is usually the case- "drink and talk more."
    Deeper insight into what we consume is philosophy and has had great effects on mankind thus far (example: marco-brew marketing ). That being said, the beer is great, as most everything that comes out of Dogfish is a balanced, bold beer!
    Lucky you for getting Dogfish Head on your shelves, they don't export international, so we pay a pretty price to sample the inside. Labels matter to those who can only see. Like humble little beer blogger, me.
    Thank you for reading and I hope that your local store fixes their pricing mess up so you can enjoy more beer!!


  3. Christopher DanielsDecember 29, 2013 at 9:58 AM

    I was overtaken by a bit of holiday season grumpiness there, sorry if I was being too harsh. I guess your situation is a bit more complicated. And of course from a marketing perspective the label is very important. There are a number of West Coast and Colorado microbrews I don't get in local stores and in my particular state alcoholic beverages can't be easily ordered across state borders, a licensed store must order it for me. So I sympathize. It would have been much better if Dogfishhead depicted a more realistic priestess, the big head IS kind of creepy.

  4. I hear ya. Cheers to holiday grumpiness.
    "Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but my goodness, doesn't it help?" -Marilyn Monroe
    You wouldn't consistently drink a beer just because the label was pretty, but it does effect one's attraction.