Beer Freaks! What do they eat, wear and Hello Kitty?

That is right, my sweet faced friends and subscribers, today is something special. Today is a hot, buttery bustling day in Paris and to go with that mess of cultures and coffees, we have a...

[caption id="attachment_1714" align="aligncenter" width="259"] see what I did there... mash tun.. mash up... oh the cleverness of me![/caption]

Step one:

What does a proper beer geek slip into after his/her morning beer soak?

All Beers has you covered with this blog and vid about the exceedingly trendy beer thread location in São Paulo, Brazil called Beer Freaks.

With freakishly funny and uniquely geeky beer gear, Beer Freaks delivers the social requirement for chest coverings while keeping with the time old nerd tradition of statement piece cotton t-shirts.

Loads of female options (go boobs!) and even some sweat shirts for our cold weather drinkers (Canada, I'm looking at you.)

[caption id="attachment_1715" align="alignleft" width="198"] Beer Freaks does beer and zombies effectively doubling the nerd point out put[/caption]

The site is slightly confusing, being all in Portugeuse but my google translate tells me that international shipping isn't an option at this time. Ebay? No luck. Asos, nothing. I give up. I shot over a desperate tweet asking how beer freakers like you and I could get our sticky LME hands a shirt or two. Update when available.

Step Two:

Slap some beer flavored chocolate butter on toasted bread and juice your oj- breakfast of champions. OR, if you are American Beer Geek in Paris and you are trying to Super Size Me yourself to death with hops (#ManSurvivesHops), pour a Nanny State and dip your beer nutella in that.

Unfortunately, like the Beer Freaks threads, Birra Spalmabile (spal-ma-bile? We need this pronounced by an Italian), will not be available in the US and costs about £25 ($40 or  €30) for shipping around the EU. Selfridges&Co says they have plans to get the stuff over to the US in the next coming months, but don't hold your breath and hope that the reasonably low price of jar (£8, $12, or €9 depending on the day) doesn't change with it's new found popularity.

Steps Three and Four:

Slip on your favorite Hello Kitty sneakers, put on your Hello Kitty hat and headphones, apply your hello Kitty glip gloss, comb your beard with your Hello Kitty beard comber and grab a few bottles of your new Hello Kitty beer from the Hello Kitty refrigerator before leaving your Hello Kitty house.



Oh yeah- Hello Kitty beer, that just happened.



This Hello Kitty beer thing has happened before with Beck's, but never has it had such exciting new flavors!

Hello Kitty lemon lime, Hello Kitty peach! Passion fruit and Banana Hello Kitty beer might be out there in Bejing somewhere but no one has yet to sample it. Mostly marketed for China, this Beer Gear Mash piece might also not be available to the common American- yet.

[caption id="attachment_1724" align="alignleft" width="214"] Not available in Hello Kitty pink, unfortunately[/caption]

To keep your Hello Kitty Peach flavor beer chilly fresh, put the cans in this Case Coolie. Lightweight, ice-less, build in holder and all the Case Coolie is your picnic, tailgating Hello Kitty shopping best friend.

Our Beer Gear has been mashed together and we are ready to set out on anther hop hunting adventure!

For other beer related (but not drinkable) ideas, including a prediction about our future selfs downloading beer directly into our cortex, check out The BeerCast with: is drinking passé?

XOXO

 

Beer Tech: Hydrating Beer

"If you're going to live in the real world, you can either spend your time telling people what they shouldn't do, or you can work on ways of reducing the danger of some of these socialized activities."

Says Associate professor Ben Desbrow from Griffith Health Institute's Centre for Health Practice Innovation. He has been looking for a way to add to beer's list of health benefits (a longer list for Lambics) by combing electrolytes (the stuff commonly found in sports drinks) to improve hydration. And he is ready to share his findings:

Improved light beer is a third more effective at hydrating a person than normal beer.

Working exclusively with commercial (as opposed to 'craft') beers, the Australian researchers tested sweaty post work out volunteers with two electrolyte enhanced beers and two non enhanced beers: one low alcohol beer (2.3% abv)[aka LightBeer], one of the same low alcohol LightBeers but with added electrolytes [aka LightBeer+25], one full strength beer (4.8% abv)[aka Beer] and one intensified Beer [Beer+25]. Then, using several measures to monitor the participant's fluid recovery, came to the following conclusion:

A low alcohol beer with added sodium offers a potential compromise between a beverage with high social acceptance and one which avoids the exacerbated fluid losses observed when consuming full strength beer. (see here for official test perimeters and source)

“Of the four different beers the subjects consumed, our augmented light beer was by far the most well retained by the body, meaning it was the most effective at rehydrating the subjects."

Also meaning-

Hydrating Beer is for the macro swillers

At this stage in the frankenstein sports beer or 'working man's beer' development, there is no need for a beer geek to get excited.

As stated in the opening quote, Prof. Desbrow himself is aiming to change the habits of dangerous drinkers instead of wasting breath by lecturing them. Most modern beer culture friends are not the planking type.

And, although the hydrating beer's sodium additive will enable college fraternities and underage drinkers to limit the dreaded hang-over it won't be as effective when coupled with your 10% abv AleSmith Wee Heavy. With little to no effect on the flavor of light commercial lagers, the sodium added to create the new super beer is likely to show up on the beer reviewer's palate.

Time will tell where this creation will lead, but more likely than not- big beer companies will be able to pick up the research and marketing bills required to get the new 'sports beer' in the hands of us commoners.

XOXO

Beer Tech 'Cell Canceler'- More beer, less distraction!

For a bit of Beer technology today, I scooped up this article from Maria Cevada (my all things Brazialian beer go-to girl) on a new more socializing product from Polar (distributed by AmBev) announced late on Wednesday, in Porto Alegreand. Sited here.

[caption id="attachment_1486" align="alignright" width="400"] 'Anulador de Celular' or 'Cell Canceller', sure to make you the most avoided person at the party[/caption]

Much related to the Offline glass's way of thinking, the Anulador de Celular or Cell Canceler's goal, according to the brand, is to prevent friends gathered at the bar table from interacting with those on the other side of the mobile line rather than with those around you.

Although all in Portuguese the commercial actor makes it clear what he is saying and what needs to be done about it. Encase one's beer in a highly nerdy anti-satellite koozie that much resembles a massive bug spray can.

"Stop looking at your phone and look at that beautiful woman in front of you!"

"Stop looking at your phone and look at that beautiful beer in front of you!"

http://youtu.be/RFdHoGYiDMY

The Cell Canceler, with behavior similar to signal jammers some prisons, was developed in a 3D printer by Paim at the request of the manufacturer and is already patented. The main novelty is the reduction in the radius range of the device, which was limited to a bar table, or about 1.5 meters, according to the company.

But don't worry, the Cell Canceler cannot be used for evil, as there has to be a bottle in the holder for it to work. No sober users allowed!

There is no demonstration on how one drinks out of the Cell Canceler but being someone with a shitty phone, I support devices like this out of sheer spite for those of you who can Twitter, Instagram and Like things while I'm forced to read the fine print on the backs of your Iphone4, Samsung Galaxy, Sony Xperia Z etc...

Cheers to forced IRL interaction without distraction!

XOXO

 

Hop-Cannabis Hybrid?

"A plant that makes beer better and gets you high- a pirate's dream!" -French Pirate Lover

And it's true- a plant that can be used for medical/recreational smoking AND beer making is something of  mythical sea monster. Or majestic ocean mermaid more like it, seeing as how the possibilities behind such a hybrid are confusingly vast yet appealing. There could be medical grade beer or new floral tasting notes when using hybrid hop-cannabis for last minute steeping. Imparting not much of the effect but a skunky sweetness on the nose would add new dimension to the hop addiction in the beer world.

Hop-Cannabis Relations

Humulus, hop, is a small genus of flowering plants in the family of Cannabaceae, which also includes cannabis. 

When you get your first try at hand rubbing and hop smelling there will inevitably be a brewer or beer enthusiasts chuckling softly with quirky delight and imparting a bit of hop knowledge that never ceases to amuse- hops and cannabis are cousins in a very small family. Most will also be quick to mention that they've had friends who've tried to smoke hops with no avail beyond a headache. Although not suitable for smoking, the smell of fresh hops is as close to a spiritual high as one can get without delving deeper into the shamanistic aspects of plants. So much are we effected by this cannabis relative that we "beer revolutionists" have become addicted to the stuff. Demanding higher and higher percentages of hop to malt ratio and turning out noses to anything that doesn't include at least an acre intoxicating hop resins. So why not take two of the most interesting plants in common culture and roll em in the hay together?

[caption id="attachment_979" align="alignleft" width="300"] Hop-Cannabis Hybrid[/caption]

Not done through natural pollination but through grafting, cannabis-hop hybrid is more tech lab then donkeys and wild horses. Since they are genetically related it isn't obscene, though the mixing might not develop anything of grander. It might turn out that the hop-cannabis hybrid is useless on both fronts: pretty for gardening and smelling but aesthetically and technologically useless.

Dutch Ganja atricles on growing marjiuana 18.6 Grafting talks about the science, myth and how to of hop-cannabis hybrids:

"The beauty of such a graft is that it would be difficult to identify as marijuana and, possible, the plant would not be covered under marijuana statutes. Unfortunately, the myth is false. It is possible to successfully graft Cannabis with Humulus, but the hops portion will not contain any cannabinoids.

In 1975, the research team of Crombie and Crombie grafted hops scions on Cannabis stocks from both hemp and marijuana (Thailand) plants 205. Cannabis scions were also grafted to hops stocks. In both cases, the Cannabis portion of the graft continued to produce its characteristic amounts of cannabinoids when compared to ungrafted controls, but the hops portions of the grafts contained no cannabinoids. This experiment was well-designed and carried out. Sophisticated methods were used for detecting THC, THCV, CBD, CBC, CBN, and CBG. Yet none of these were detected in the hops portions.



[caption id="attachment_978" align="alignright" width="300"] Hop-Cannabis Hybrid[/caption]

The grafting myth grew out of work by H.E. Warmke, which was carried out for the government during the early 1940's in an attempt to develop hemp strains that would not contain the "undesirable" drug 58. The testing procedure for the active ingredients was crude. Small animals, such as the water flea Daphnia, were immersed in water with various concentration of acetone extracts from hemp. The strength of the drug was estimated by the number of animals killed in a given period of time. As stated by Warmke, "The Daphnia assay is not specific for the marijuana drug ... once measures any and all toxic substances in hemp (or hop) leaves that are extracted with acetone, whether or not these have specific marijuana activity." Clearly it was other compounds, not cannabinoids, that were detected in these grafting experiments.


...


We have heard several claims that leaves from hops grafted on marijuana were psychoactive. Only one such case claimed to be first hand, and we never did see or smoke the material. We doubt these claims. Hops plants do have resin glands similar to those on marijuana, and many of the substances that make up the resin are common to both plants. But of several species and many varieties of hops tested with modern techniques for detecting cannabinoids, no cannabinoids have ever been detected 212.

The commercially valuable component of hops is lupulin, a mildly psychoactive substance used to make beer. To our knowledge, no other known psychoactive substances has been isolated from hops. But since these grafting claims persist, perhaps pot-heads should take a closer look at the hops plant.

Most growers who have tried grafting Cannabis and Humulus are unsuccessful. Compared to many plants, Cannabis does not take grafts easily. Most of the standard grafting techniques you've probably seen for grafting Cannabis simply don't work. For example, at the University of Mississippi, researchers failed to get one successful graft from the sixty that were attempted between Cannabis and Humulus. A method that works about 40 percent of the time is as follows. (Adapted from 205)

Start the hops plants one to two weeks before the marijuana plants. Plant the seeds within six inches of each other or start them in separate six-inch pots. The plants are ready to graft when the seedling are strong (about five and four weeks respectively) but their stem has not lost their soft texture. Make a diagonal incision about halfway through each stem at approximate the same levels (hops is a vine). Insert the cut portions into each other. Seal the graft with cellulose tape, wound string, or other standard grafting materials. In about two weeks, the graft will have taken. Then cut away the unwanted Cannabis top and the hops bottom to complete the graft. Good luck, but don't expect to get high from the hops leaves. {Smoking any plant's leaves will give a short, slight buzz.}"

Hop High

Nice to know that lupulin is slightly psychoactive and that we can make the myth or monster with a great deal of effort and experiment as we like. I'm surprised and then also not surprised that more interest on the hop-cannabis hybrid hasn't been around the science scene. Surprised because with the tech valley being over run by hop heads, it would seem only natural to start splicing it with it's useful and historically oppressed cousin.  Not surprised because the cousin is still considered one of those mind opening drugs that the controlling societies would rather we avoid and thus only sanction research on the substance when the reasearch is to show how evil it is.

For Nitch it's not a myth, it's not a monster, but it isn't magic either. With possibilities open on both fronts, I would like to see more done with the two. BeerSci talks about the details of beer and hops and how infusing beer with mary jane isn't uncommon.

THC is alcohol soluble, so you probably want your beer to be in the 8% ABV range for maximum extraction.

Maybe we could be happy to keep the two communities separate at the moment. But time is crawling on, seeing both the cannabis and the hop culture grow in much the same direction. We are cousin cultures that some day will need to join hands and compare notes. 

[caption id="attachment_983" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] Fusion of two growing cultural movements[/caption]

Here is a beautiful invention that amuses me as much as the time I watched a friend try to read twitter posts on her phone while drinking a pint.

The Offline Glass

http://youtu.be/7VM6IOOtK-Y

"The beer glass, designed by ad agency Fischer & Friends, was put to use in a bar in Sao Paolo, Brazil called Salve Jorge. The shaved off base creates an indentation that either makes you hold the beer glass and drink it or rest it on your phone and ignore Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, text messages and so forth." -Gizmodo

[caption id="attachment_843" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Brazilian bar Salve Jorge is helping aid the next generation in offline gastro pub reality communication[/caption]

One of my favorite places in San Diego is a speakeasy/underground bar that has a strict no cell phone policy. This is mostly because I've lived many years with lack of or completely outdated phone. (Iphone 3 apps are no longer made). My piece of shit phone, which is why my beerporn pictures are as grainy as the misplaced sex shots you find of your mom in the big Home Decor book, has given me long moments of staring into space while my table guests update/inform/insta and like.

By all means, read Tasting Nitch, follow the great beer movement around the world, but give beer (and your friends/reality) the attention they deserve!

The offline glass reminds us that we leave our computers for other reasons then blog content gathering. Wouldn't it be great if people had an internal system in place that could capture moments in time, like a camera? Memory is forgotten. The only industry working to make humanity human again, is the beer culture. 

Thank you again beer for inspiring us to new heights!

XOXO

More Musical Beer

[caption id="attachment_801" align="alignleft" width="225"] Traditional musical beer techniques[/caption]

Recently we talked about the New Musical Beer by Beck's, the Edison bottle. Today, in the spirit of craftiness, we have a more new way to make beer musical!

Beer has inspired music in the heart and souls of many of it's consumers. After a few pints people are likely to burst into song- thus, pub songs.

http://youtu.be/h-SpfyKn96Y

Musical Beer Better than Beck's

There are more modern ways to make a beer sing in your favor thanks you Matt Braun and his ever expanding insights on the world. The traditional musical beer techniques will be time tested and true- just blow over the top!

We, the beer drinkers, need to not look at the beer bottle as simply a device to hold our brew. Musical beer takes two symbiotic cultures back to the roots. Humanity began when we learned to relax and be drunk. Drunk with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you please. But get drunk.

Be drunk with music and creativity!

[caption id="attachment_803" align="alignright" width="300"] Musical Beer Drum Box[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_805" align="alignnone" width="300"] Musical Beer Cap Beats[/caption]

The First Musical Beer by Beck's

The Edison Bottle

Beck's introductes the world's first collaboration of music, beer and 19th century technology to create the first playable beer bottle.

http://youtu.be/6lG8MjXTNbc

Inspired by Thomas Edison’s cylindrical phonograph, Beck's has taken all things beer culture to a new level but is not prepared to share the trend. As of today Beck's New Zealand says they aren't going to be available for purchase by the public so there is only one player and two playable bottles in the world. The craft is being using to promote Beck's new music label project.

"It takes 30 minutes to etch 3 mins of music on to the bottle - runs at 1/10th speed so the lathe doesn't skip"-  Mathew Tizard, creative technologist, Shine

"In a pleasing coincidence, Heinrich Beck was brewing his first batch of beer at the same time as Thomas Edison was inventing the phonograph, on the other side of the Atlantic in the late 19th Century."

This time, the art label has evolved, and been replaced by the grooves of Auckland band Ghost Wave. Their new single was inscribed into the surface of a Beck's beer bottle which could then be played on a specially-built device based on Thomas Edison's original phonograph. The Edison Bottle made its public debut at SemiPermanent in Auckland in May to a standing ovation from the assembled media and design community. -campaignbrief

Seeing how beer has inspired music, art and humanity in general since it's inception it is only right to put the muse of man into it's rightful place: everywhere!

For years people have studied archaeoacoustics, the study of ancient audio records through things like vases and mason work has:

[A] trowel, like any flat plate, must vibrate in response to sound: thus, drawn over the wet surface by the singing plasterer, it must emboss a gramophone-type recording of his song in the plaster. Once the surface is dry, it may be played back.

—Jones, 1982

How beautiful would your beer cave be if you were also able to play the record the brewer was listening to while brewing. What if you were able to hear a poetry piece that inspired the brewer to begin their beer craft or a message to all the imbibers of the brew. 

Beer Tech

"Don't you hate it when warm beer ruins a perfectly good week day morning?"

Chill Puck to the rescue!

http://youtu.be/1HxBWUXr8pk

The commercial is a riot but I'll admit that I"m unlikely to purchase this nugget of a gadget. More plastic added to the world and the page for advertising almost makes me sick. It reminds me of those plastic wrist bands that were <are?> a rage fad. I guess Nitch is just a fan of natural thermal progression. Then again, I haven't lived in Arizona in a long time- desert people might surely be in need of this invention.

This miracle worker is filled with a super cold material that defies the laws of physics. This same potion has been used to slow global warming, preserve the body of Michael Jackson, and keep Frosty alive.

NASA wants it...

but we're saving it for YOU.