#BroDogs 4 Life

You may have seen my recent modeling excursion at Paris Beer Week with #Beerstagram master Clemént.

They weren't real tattoos.

We are real BroDogs.

Having bonded over pints of Punk and Dead Pony Club (not to mention a tactical nuclear penguin or two), Clemént and I created a tattoo optional bond we refer to as #BroDogs4life.

The Brodog Circle Expands

I met James, a proper English type with a smart jacket and red socks as I was coming off the plane tryng to yawn and blow air out my ears. We were to share a taxi to the BrewDog brewery and James wanted to know if this dislike for Stella was enough to qualify him as a beer geek.

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of adding to my circle of irl beer geek friends while attending a meet, greet, drink and karaoke (or not) event at BrewDog in Aberdeen, Scotland. First off, let me say that it entire event was paid for by BrewDog, Sarah (of youtube fame) planned the gathering to show off BrewDog's newest toys to the beertube and blogger crew around the EU and, in full disclosure, they can buy my love all they want.

Do I think BrewDog can get a bit gimmicky? Yeah, but why not be.

Is Equity for Punks a good investment? The perks alone are worth the cash, if you have it.

Does this PR stunt change how I view BrewDog? Not in the least. I've always been a fan of BrewDog's ass in the wind style of doing things and have never had a beer that wasn't what I was expecting it to be. They are the Stone Brewing of the EU and, as long as they keep making good beer they can be as punky stange as they like.

Me? I came to meet beerubers, drink beer and get out of Paris for a day.

Aberdeen - Home of Dracula's castle

Amoung political talks of Scotland seceding from Uk and a vicious inability to pop my post flight ear canal, I was welcomed to Aberdeen, Scotland by a dismal wall picture of a stormy wharf with bold white lettering saying : This is Home. Setting expectations on a low level leaves plenty of room for pleasant surprises. Along the wall of welcome signs into the Aberdeen where also other points of touristy interest, including something about a singing cactus, oil fields galore and, much to my surprise, a statement saying I was now near the home of Dracula's castle.

Turns out that Bram Stoker used one of the local castles as a model for this book Dracula and it isn't hard to see how the rambling streets of grey stone housing could be used as template for a gothic novel. Aberdeen is seagull infested, smaller than a Parisian suburb and fortified to the teeth, even the grocery stores are made of solid battleship grey slabs of earth which gives the whole place a great authentic Hogwarts type of feel. The university may have been Adolf Hilter's favorite building of all time, but then he didn't get to tour BrewDog's new Brewing facility.

BrewDog's New Toys

James Watt threw a green vest at me and my English taxi buddy as we were rushed late into the brewery tour.

"What are the vests for?"
"So people know you aren't the brewer."

Not much chance of that, seeing as how I couldn't be mistaken for Stewart Bowman any more than Charlie could be mistaken for Willy Wonka. The six year veteran head brewer of BrewDog was all black metal t-shirt, hop head and bouncing beard as he guided us through the new industrial playground of the beer world's most hip beer company. There were people buzzing around, looking leisurely busy like oompa-loompas in trendy beanies, glasses and an assortment of finely maintained facial hair. Everyone seemed to have things to scrub and clean or crank and clank as the hiss and whine of the smoothly functioning brewery went about it's daily business.

Stewart warned us about large scale boil overs which, since its a home brewer's nightmare must be amplified by hecoliters. He told far off tales of how things used to be before they got everything they dreamed of and their plans for expanding even more in the future while I felt as if any moment one of the huge cylindrical tanks might pop open and we would all be drown in an ocean of beer (it happens). BrewDog's occupied work punks at one point wheeled out a cannon sized pump machine to begin a hoping process that could only be explained as excessive. After lots of details about yeast strains, beer styles and company motivation we were herded around by Bowman's jolly booming voice into an elevated glass box of a room where, a bit selfishly, I thought that the time had come for us to shoot into the clouds and he would then tell us that it was all ours.

Alas, it was merely the lab and we were to be introduced to BrewDog's shiny new toy #1 : The Diacetyl machine. (Click here if you don't know what diacetyl is and why one would want an expensive machine to detect it.) This medical grade device is able to pull apart all sorts of chemical compounds and, as soon as they learn how to work it, they'll be using it is isolate all the things that make up a beer instead of just testing batches for Diacetyl. Ever-lasting-hopstoppers?

Shiny new toy #2 was a fully enclosed bottling line that cost more than the economic output of some small countries but was made in Germany and featured a finishing section where the bottles were gently splashed with water, softly blown dry, and then patted on the head by an official bottle inspector. #Fancy This new toy was setting in motion one of BrewDog's newest developments : Label change !

Shiny new toy #3 : Slightly embossed, hand designed by some trendy person who uses old school techniques and with the logo dog now sporting a less evil looking eye, the new labels are a welcome upgrade after more than 7 years with the old look.

James went around the group handing out Punk IPA fresh off the bottling line, like it was candy and, sipping at the bottles between questions, like inquisitive children, the tour was moved into the pub for snacks and chats.

I had a lovely talk with a family playing a Star Trek themed board game for family night because the attached brewery pub has board games, people use them and drink fresh beer. Yes, I could live here. There were off duty employees taking their post work pint and munching on an assortment of savory pies, while I began to get in some meet and greets with beer geeks :

Wane Dunne is the Irish Beer Snob

Sten Bentall does the Beer O'clock Show

Isla Mercer from Diary of a Beer Girl 

After a short nap at the hotel, which does NOT have a pool, we were on to see shiny new toy #4 : Musa For James Watt's new 'sort of hobby' he says,

"others play golf or do DIY, I have decided to relax and occasionally escape the BrewDog mayhem with Musa."

Escape we did. Me, and the rest of my newly appointed BroDog buddies filled out the reserved up stairs area, where we were artfully served pork and purple laced dishes paired with BrewDog beers of all styles. Sophie Atherton from A FemAle View does not like purple things in her food, but she does know how to say dirty words in French (bwahaha), Martin Dickie is unable to resist a few micro greens and so we created a hashtag to create word awareness #microgreens, Tony the BrewDog distribution manager as pulled in to explain the pairings because James had had a few and the chef finished us off with a view into his grand supply of Scot whiskey. Ask for the Lagavulin, BroDog.

As you may have noticed at this point, I didn't take pictures of the event, I didn't tweet anything and neither did I video record. I do have some audio samples of a local barmaid telling dirty jokes and some snippets of Jonny Garret from The Craft Beer Channel singing to his beer, but other than that I came into the event as an enjoyer of beer people. But, if you'd like a really awesome live blogging of the whole thing, check out The Beer Cast's Rich Taylor with his up to the minute commentary as it all happened!

Me, I got distracted by the local old man karaoke bar next door to Musa. Sir Tom Jones has nearly two pages of songs available - naturally. 

If I sound a little down about the whole thing in retrospect it's because I am the kid back home after summer camp. I love all my places of work and cherish fresh French baguettes to no end but being silly with great beer geeky people in a city that is experiencing unusually beautiful weather is the cookie that ruins christmas dinner. I appreciate BrewDog for setting up the event and showing how down to earth and yet completely Willy Wonka they are. Aberdeen may be called the Concrete City, but it's a fantastically friendly and heart warming place, full of thick Scottish accents and mountains of local beer love.

I didn't get to see the art performance that Darren Packman from Beer Sweden enjoyed with Martin later in the evening, but I did purchase a lovely cigar at the local pub to share with Steven Lamond from Beers I've Known. I then purchased Rob Derbyshire from HopZine a local dark beer that came with a plastic goat shaped charm and slurringly insisted that we film us reviewing it. Boy, I can't wait to see if there is anything useful in that clip. Not wanting to give in to the slow trickle of people heading back to the hotel, I shared some deep world views with John Duffy The Beer Nut, and with the help of Chris Hall from The Beer Diary and Sarah BroDog, tried to rescue The Craft Beer Channel's Brad Evan from falling asleep.

Cheers to all my new BroDogs 4 life, you've got a friend in Paris.

Cheers to BrewDog for supporting our craft beer drinking habits and sharing their new toys with us.

A big cheers to Sarah for running us all around in a timely manner!

And now,

Jonny singing love songs to his BrewDog :

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Brew Dog Boys Balance Beer Yoga

Brew Dog TV en route to inner peace

The two founders of Brew Dog James Watt and Martin Dickie are known for being obnoxiously young, cool and avant garde. They've taken the American idea of outlandish and shameless marketing to new levels with public campaigns to convert the drinking masses into craft beer lovers. And now they've taken over the television (in America anyway).

They do a lot of silly stuff ... a lot. Also a lot of really good stuff, that might be weird but sometimes works.

Can't we exploit that?

Brew Dogs TV is one of a kind television show where the Brew Dog Boys run around America doing ridicoulous things with famous brewers in beer infested cities.

Food pairing, beer virgin conversion and a lot of quippy one liners. LOTS of quippy-ness.

Episode #1 felt extremely staged- like each line was edited after reading from a script. Which might have been first time camera shyness or the fact that they were standing next to beer legend Greg Koch of Stone Brewing, a man known for his on camera charisma.



In true BrewDog fashion, they are gimmicky and outlandish, which could (understandably) be the reason why traditional beer lover types find them annoying.

I find them annoying. But also a bit endearing. It might help that they are both rather handsome young gents who have accents like Sir Sean Connery.

In episode #2 the guys lighten up slightly, the editing is less choppy and the viewer begins to get used to James and Martin’s wide eye’d impishness. The stupidly gimmicky things they are doing become acceptable- they aren't going to stop doing it, so might as well enjoy.

Aside from having an extensive library of beer related words used to describe beers, the Brew Dog boys don’t do much more then make comedic twitter sized statements and shove food items in their mouth and nose. Engineer David does technical work and has more then one scene where they boys say something and he just stars at them blankly.

Unbelievable how much money these two have and Engineer David is there to make all their punky child star toy dreams come true.

Thank you David for holding it together.

Balancing Beer with Brewsanas

While they are #Mashtag'ing beers and annoying Americans, Adrienne Rinaldi aka BeerSnobChick is mashing together yoga and beer.

James and Martin need their chakras inlined. Episode #3 airs tonight and although I won't be able to watch it until the pirates send out their life raft- the facebook post of James doing a bit of beer drinking and balancing hints that the Scot lads will be getting their namaste on.

 “I love teaching in the brewery setting,” Rinaldi says. “It’s so unique, and attracts people who would never try yoga because they’re intimidated to go inside a studio where everyone is really bendy.”

Rather or not a bit of deep breathing and eagle pose will balance out the juvenile creativity of the Brew Dog Tv gents, we'll be entertained none the less.

While the show is unique and excessively innovative, I'd far more enjoy a sun salutation in a warm wort air infused brewery. But if you can't get outside for some fresh air or inside for some socializing and (yoga) beer then watch yourself some Brew Dog Tv.

Namaste Beer Punks

XOXO

Tasting and Thinking- I Hardcore You and Taras Boulba

I Hardcore You Monkey Ghost!

Being a beer reviewer gives one a reason to get another beer from the fridge, effectively isolating them from conversations and social obligations. “I’ve got this new beer to try… so.. bye…”

Here I am, beer sampling and life contemplating as the men in my life pack their toys into bigger toys and ready the band for a week long Monkey Ghost tour in the south west of France.

Being a beer connoisseur also gives one a reason to be mildly anti-social, with relief. No need to drudge through heavily gestured foreign language speech or pretend to be interested in people with completely different interests when one can spend 20 minutes examining and cataloging a beer bottle. To fully ignore and disconnect yourself from the man rabble, take as much time as possible with the following:

[caption id="attachment_1467" align="alignnone" width="696"] Monkey Ghost prepares for the road![/caption]

1. First there is the photographing of the bottle. Different angles and lights, backgrounds and color tones- delete, retake and tag for posting.

2. The glassware needs to be readied. Usually a wine glass or short tumbler will substitute for proper glassware as most houses only offer steins, pints or weizens when asked, "do you have a beer glass?" Remember to rinse with water before pouring to remove any dust, soap resin or lingering whatever that might be residing in the glass.

3. Now comes the opening! Bottle cap examination is in order, why not it the underside of that a sniff as well and then contemplate rather or not to keep the crown top.

[caption id="attachment_1468" align="alignright" width="338"] Taras Boulba and roadie work[/caption]

4. Smelling of bottle opening then pouring. I like to pour my beer in steps instead of one go. Proper pouring takes a good amount of focus so there's no need to trying getting into another one of those failing conversations. Conversations that leave both partners feeling awkwardly unsatisfied, reject people who try to chat with you by nodding and saying yes and no intermittently.

5. After the pour comes the smell and sight appreciation. Remember to hold the glass in the air, to the light so that everyone in the courtyard can see that you are geeking-out to the max and should not be disturbed.

6. Cooing and talking out-loud to oneself is completely natural. Once the under nose wafting becomes unbearably close to the lips, tasting is in order. Small sips, take notes, swash around the mouth, smack the tongue against the roof of mouth and try to make more noise then when you were inspecting the appearance and smell.

7. Now comes the proper note taking rush, no more floundering in water before you get your bearings, time to swim competently. This is also a good time to take a look around and write about the area and people you happen to be planted in.

BRASSERIE DE LA SENNE- Taras Boulba

'Light Blonde 4.5% alc. Generously hopped with the finest aromatic hops, giving it a very refreshing character and a nose reminiscent of citrus.'

A: Great head on a bazed apple juice

S: Bread and rising yeast

T: Bitter, bitter, bitter! Clean citrus and smooth with a great hop bite but not much after taste or lingering bitterness.

M: Medium mouthfeel, smooth, dry finish.

O: Lovely 'extra hoppy', session beer. An every day go-to that should be purchased in mass amounts. Too bad I only have this one bottle. No, I'm not willing to share.

MIKKELLER and BREWDOG- I Hardcore You

9.5% IIPA collaboration that is a mix of Mikkeller's I Beat You and Brewdog's Hardcore IPA that was twice dry hopped after blending, making the beer four times dry hopped.. or does that make six times? Brewdog Blog has lost count.

A: Bright copper with a snow white head that leaves rims of lacing

S: Tropical fruit, citrus and grapefruit

T: No malt backbone just sweet hops finishing bitter and resin. Beautiful light bubbles lifting sweet tart alcohol kisses into the air.

M: Leaves a sticky mouth feel with resins coating your palate.

O: That is a balanced beer! The hops are galaxy exotic sweet floral and fresh fruit. The taste is a roller coaster into hops. An exciting sugar bubble dance followed by a candy coasted passion fruit that smells of sunset on a hot summer day. Like sitting in the yard after gardening, wet earth and drip drying greenery all gently waving you thanks for a job well done. I Hardcore You is a great marriage of two attention whore breweries- there is no denying it’s beauty. As much as I hate glammed-out television personalities like Kim Kardashian, but their lot in life is to be a feast for the eyes and, I hardcore you delivers on it’s label deign and sweet IIPA perfection, beasts of beauty cannot be ignored.

[caption id="attachment_1469" align="aligncenter" width="576"] I Hardcore You[/caption]

As I learn the finer arts of roadie-dom. Color coding wire wraps, towel covered drums and impossible to be perfect puzzle games using musical instruments and metal boxes (and the occasional chrome plated motorbike), I sip away at I Hardcore You with relish. Thank you Ninkasi for the small pleasures in life.

I pour the last quarter of my beer into my Heineken logo beer glass with a sigh and shake of the head at regretfully having purchased a single bottle of this extraordinary beer only to realize that a gnat has taken the final trip down the green fairy river and been face down fermenting in my medical grade IIPA while I wrote my beer praises. Hardcore Figures.

The night is winding to an end as it become obvious that someone will have to walk five paces toward the house and wave at the light generating machine every three minutes. "Yes, hello, we are still here packing vans and trailers like girls packing their bags for an over sea vacation."

Which is a great relief to anti-social, non musical instrument packing Nitch who has run out of beer (good beer) and has resorted to drinking Pierre and enjoying the audio injustice that has been bleating in the background for the past 10 minutes. At least the skipping Lenny Kravitz cd hasn’t bothered anyone else.

I watch a French man chug a glass of Pierre and I am in awe. It's like chugging champagne, I can't do it. I Hardcore dare You to try power drinking soda water.

Vans, trucks, metal boxes and wires all packed and ready to go, I place my one large grocery bag of beer bottles in the back and hope that we'll have wifi where ever it is in France we are heading to this time.

Updating as we go (wifi be willing)- Nitch on the tour road!

XOXO