Beer and Lipgloss

The above Heineken video depicting a fiery ginger temptress luring in unsuspecting Irish drunks with her golden, beer flavored smackers is entertaining but an obvious failure in one huge respect: beer and lipgloss do not mix.



All the wrong values have been applied to the concept. Not only does Nitch NOT want random beer nerds sniffing up her nose but beer and lipgloss are natural enemies. Who wants to smell the lush aromas of beer right under their nose and be unable to soak up the flavors? Nitch would end up eating her own face, ingesting huge amounts of the chemically lip lube or simply weeping over soggy, floppy, flat headed pints.

There has to be a choice between your favorite mouth attention grabber and your best beer unless you are leaning in the middle and don't mind doing something along the lines of eating soup with a fork. Personally when I go out for sushi, I use chopsticks and when I go out to drink quality beer I keep my senses about me. Thinking about ultra rouge for the evening then avoid the good stuff unless you are willing to wipe the face goo and reapply after every sip or suffer the woes of a wax and cherry tinted brew.

BUT WHY, WE CRY? Can't a girl have her sex appeal and her palette?

FACTS

The UK's number one dispense beer guide, Inn Doctor answers the question, "Does lipstick ruin a beautiful bouncing head of beer?"

YES

The reality and science behind beer and lipgloss is simple:

physicsbuzz

The physics (or chemistry), goes like this. Foam is made from CO2 gas bubbles that form as the beer is poured. The bubbles are enclosed in a protein skin, which increases their stability. Fat, in lipstick, nuts, or whatever, essentially pokes holes in the proteins and deflates the bubbles. This is according to my very limited understanding, and I will point you toward the very excellently titled, The Relative Significance of Physics and Chemistry for Beer Foam Excellence: Theory and Practice for more information on beer foam formation.

Lesson being, ladies and gentle drags, enjoy a bright red lipstick as much as the next Diva but that doesn't mean pouring on the Channel No.5 and Super Stay LipGloss before a beer tasting.  Nitch values the quality of a brew as much as a well put together face. Please, dress for the occasion, be aware of what our doing for the evening and respect the Hop Goddess.

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